As I hiked today I found this stepping stone and I smiled . A year ago I woke up in the hospital with another scar down my chest. The last three years have been filled with a lot of suffering and disappointment , but also many blessings . The last 12 months were major hits . I couldn't stay up no matter how hard I tried . Today I hiked 3.5 mikes with my precious brother @sebboom and Koda Bear. As I walked I couldn't believe that 12 months ago I was laying in a hospital bed again, then on this exact day I relapsed 6 months ago AGAIN.
There has been joy, gratitude and growth . Sometimes when you're in a storm it's hard to see the break in the clouds, and hard to be grateful for the suffering.
Over the last three years, there have been plenty of days when the world felt like it was caving in – blocking the light, blocking the hope. On these days, I once panicked until it felt like anxiety would hold my spirit hostage forever.
I finally realized if I kept thinking that way , I would not get back up from the hit I had suffered . I had to hit back. I had to see the blessings in the midst of suffering. I had to remember that the beginning is always the hardest. I had to learn that even if I got knocked down seven times , I could get up eight.
That's what you have to do ... you have to look backwards sometimes to remind yourself of how far you have traveled.
My goal this week is to walk every day. I dreamt of days I could just walk in nature. It's here . I can't waste it. I'm choosing to stand back up on my feet and let each obstacle make me stronger and more determined. When you get hit hard, you can choose to fight back and keep going. Because it’s not how hard you get hit or how much you get hit that counts. It’s what you learn from each hit and each fall, how much you can take and how high you keep rising after each hit. Cheers to standing up. Cheers to December. Cheers to being brave. Cheers to Santa visiting me. Cheers to the best support system in the world ( not all pictured but you know who you are ). Blessed!!!